As I work on the final edits of my first book, I often reflect upon the numerous hours of listening and learning from others. Without this knowledge, I may have not been able to write my book and become an author.
Listening and learning go together, and in that order, with listening having priority. But, you do not automatically learn from listening. Learning happens only when we effectively listen.
What is effective listening?
Effective listening “is an intentional effort to focus on the other person or agenda distraction free.” We focus because we want to “understand the other person—what they’re passionate about, what they love, where they come from, and ultimately where they’re heading.” Effective listening is listening with care and concern for the speaker.
Benefits of being an effective listener
Effective listening is an important skill for a successful life. There are many benefits to being an effective listener. Whether you are the person doing the listening or the person being listened to, you can experience a variety of benefits.
- You enrich your personal growth. We grow when we adopt positive attributes, habits, and attitudes about ourselves and others. As you listen respectfully to others, you develop empathy: you become more open to other points of view and develop a greater understanding of others. You also learn how to “slow down and be present in the moment.” Your appreciation of your own worth improves as you see that you have more to offer than just your words. “Sometimes the best thing we have to offer is a pair of ears willing to listen and a heart willing to love.” Effective listening can also improve your prayer life. “We can pray with the intentional desire to listen…. In this same vein, to listen effectively in prayer we must be still…stillness and quiet are essential in prayer.”1
- You gain a better understanding of God’s Word. The Word of God itself emphasizes the importance of listening. Seventy-two disciples were sent out to do God’s work and advise others that “the kingdom of God has come near.” The Lord warned the disciples that the people in the cities of Chorazin and Bethsaida and Capernaum may not want to listen to them: “Whoever listens to you listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me; but whoever rejects me rejects him who sent me” (Luke 10:16 NIV).
- You speak less, but you have greater impact when you do. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20 NIV). If you listen first, you will naturally speak at a slower pace; as a result, others will want to listen to your delivery of information with empathy and wisdom.
- You improve your chances of success. I once shared an idea with a local bakery about how they could increase their sales. During a visit to pick up my order, I suggested to the store representative that the company should place its brand or name somewhere on the outside of their boxes. So, anyone that may see the box of delicious pastries, as they sit on the table of an office breakroom, you would know where to buy them.
When I returned later to pick up some more pastries, I realized that each box had been affixed with the company’s stickers. The bakery could have heard what I chose to say and did nothing, but they took time to listen, consider and implement my suggestion. My brother has often joked that I should first charge a fee before I provide any business consultation or suggestion.
5. You gain wisdom without having to make others’ mistakes. One way to grow is to learn from what we see and observe in the lives of others. Everything can teach us something, even though the lesson may be limited. Never stop being curious about life. Practice being expressive whether you are an introvert or extrovert. Always ask questions. Share the concerns of your heart and seek honest answers. When you listen, you learn. No one person has all the answers.
Conclusion
Effective listening takes effort, but it offers many benefits in return. Being an effective listener will enrich your personal growth and enhance your understanding of God’s Word. Along with other things, such as, enable you to speak wisely, improve your knowledge for success, and make you an all-around intelligent person. So, make each new day an opportunity to listen, learn, and grow. In exchange, the valuable knowledge that you will receive can have a profound impact on your life.
1 https://www.relevantmagazine.com/faith/the-wisdom-of-listening-in-a-new-decade/